We learn to hate before we learn to love. At least thats what I feel.

A child cries at his birth because we steal from him the world he knew for so long and put him in a place he does not know, a place where he may be safer and grow and conceive a child of his own. Yet, he isn't safe. Not at his birth and not at his death. Because the world isn't a safe place. Theres too much hate.

Is it even possible to learn to hate? What is hate? How do we collect that rage that boils inside us, enough to annihilate the universe and label it to be hate?

We realize the monstrosity inside us and let it hold us tight without a fight. The unknown existence of it is buried deep in the layers in our hearts and the realization pushes it to the surface. The bubble of our sanity bursts all around us engulfing everyone who surrounds us and everyone who cares and everyone who just wants to do good. But does anyone really want to do any good?

God made man in his own image. Yet we are no gods in our existences. We fight, we burn, we cry and we never think good for others. Self motivated. Manipulative. Self centered.

If there is a God, which at times i do hope there is, he wouldn't have made us like this would he?

Burn baby, burn.

My city burns today. In the brightness of the day. And it will burn in the darkness of the night. The flames will engulf the nation into a solitude of hatred and a blanket of fear. 

Every single life mourned at the death of a city, at a death of a nation and now the world will mourn at the death of humanity. 

Where is the love gone? Where has coexistence disappeared? 

Or i forget that we never had love and coexistence written in our DNAs. 

We are vile creatures. We are self destructive and we are moral less imbeciles devoted to love of hatred. 

There will never be a light at the end of the tunnel for us. Because the crowd has burned it down and the remains have caved in. 

Dany

"Wear your jacket. Dany's in five."

Its not a question, its not an invite. Its always a statement.

The after midnight meal I became used to looking forward to on most days i ate early. Halal pepperoni pizza.

Not that it made a difference. Im more of a eat all but pork type. Its not a religious thing. Pigs eat their own shit. So im eating their shit. Which is grossly unappetizing.

Thin crispy crust and the extra fries from the Allie on weekdays if we reached almost before closing. Its made me gain the freshman fifty. Yes, fifty. Not fifteen as the rest of them college kids.

Kinda miss Montreal now that I'm home. This is good food. Not the stuff i got used to eating there.

Getting food whenever I want isn't a problem there, I'm hoping I just don't get used to getting 'good' food whenever I want to. 

Days

To put this life into words seems easy. When you sit down to do it you cant remember why you sat down to write about it at first. 

You dont remember the day you were brought into the world. Yet everyone around you does. They laugh and scream and want a piece of you. You're never actually a part of it. 

And nobody will remember your last day except you. They'll mourn and cry. But they'll never be a part of it.

 Its messed up, isn't it?

The day your life starts you dont know, and the day it ends nobody else knows.